I can’t help my son.

My son has Asperger’s syndrome. I have watched him struggle since he was very young.  My wife has spent countless upon countless hours in therapy and doing homework with him.  Teaching him to talk,  read,  write, and do math.  She has a lot more patience than I do.


Now that he is approaching adulthood, he is struggling a lot with communication. He wants to fit in, to be part of a group, to be loved. That is pretty normal. It is also pretty hard for normal kids.  Adolescence is bitch.  For my son it is particularly hard.  He has difficulty processing speech.  It is like he lives in a foreign country with a language similar to his own but not quite his language.  If you speak Spanish and you have ever heard a conversation in Portuguese or Italian, I think that is how it must feel.  You kind of get what they may be talking about. You miss all the nuances, if they speak fast you are lost and there is a fairly good chance that you understood something completely different than what they are actually talking about.  That is how I see my son right now.


I don’t know how to help him. I spend my days fixing people. If your blood pressure is high, I make it lower, your blood pressure is low I make it normal.  You can’t breath, I put a tube in your throat and help you breath.  I don’t know how to help my son.  That is very frustrating. On the other hand, imagine how frustrating it must be for my son.

If you are religious, please pray for all the children that have special needs and for their parents.  If you are not, then just send us your good vibes.

8 thoughts on “I can’t help my son.

  1. Manuel C

    You are an awesome father. Never forget it. Your son knows what you are doing for him and he loves you for it.

  2. PJ

    This is beautifully written. We all can understand maybe just a little bit more now, what you’re going through. And I know we all want to help.

    I’m sure your son teaches you lessons in patience every day. I’ll bet we can all learn the art of being patient through your daily routine.

  3. Jessica

    Hermoso y honesto, Joaco. Creo q puedo alcanzar a entender, aunque sea un poco, tu frsutración. Aunque no con Asperger, soy mamá de 2 hijas, y aunque no tengan Asperger, han y siguen enfrentando retos.
    Cuando eres padre amas tanto a los hijos que es difícil aceptar que sufran.
    Reciban Rosita, Santi y tú, mis mejores vibras con todo cariño! Y sigamos compartiendo la vida con sus retos y aprendizajes.

  4. Silvia

    No sabía! Cuenta con mis oraciones. Lo que seguro tiene claro es el amor de sus padres y en eso es muy afortunado de tener una familia como la suya. Bss!

  5. Maria Amador Gomez

    Estoy segura que van a encontrar la forma de ayudar a Santi , como lo han hecho hasta ahora , se que es una etapa bien difícil “la adolescencia”, pero Santi va a salir de ella con su inteligencia y la ayuda de ustedes y de las personas que lo rodean , no instante te envío todas las buenas vibras para ustedes , besitos

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